


i know this feeling, yes, i know this very well

by coldmilkchoices



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, CPR, Canonical Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Ending, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Near Death Experiences, almost major character death, i did research on medical problems for this and then handwaved the consequences with healing factor, i have taken liberties with medical attention, things are bad in the beginning but they turn out alright
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24749395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldmilkchoices/pseuds/coldmilkchoices
Summary: Miles feels like the world has been put on pause.He’s staring down, but he’s not seeing what’s actually there, images superimposed over his eyeballs like that artwork with the transparent layers he saw the other day he thought was so cool.Uncle Aaron, laying in the alley, purple armor bleeding darker and darker. Spider-Man, one blue eye staring up and out, chest caved in.Peter B, sprawled unmoving across the ground.
Relationships: Jefferson Davis & Miles Morales, Miles Morales & Peter B. Parker, Miles Morales & Peter B. Parker & Gwen Stacy, Miles Morales & Rio Morales, Peter B. Parker & Gwen Stacy, Peter B. Parker & Mary Jane Watson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 143





	i know this feeling, yes, i know this very well

**Author's Note:**

> whats up gamers tonight i offer you me hurting spideys and then making it okay
> 
> It doesn't come up here but they somehow figured out how to travel between dimensions idk how
> 
> Everything about Claire Temple in this fic is me making stuff up, I've never watched Daredevil or the Defenders so I'm sorry if this is out of character.
> 
> There are two lines of Spanish in this fic im so so sorry if I messed them up
> 
> title is from Memories by Thutmose

Miles feels like the world has been put on pause.

He’s staring down, but he’s not seeing what’s actually there, images superimposed over his eyeballs like that artwork with the transparent layers he saw the other day he thought was so cool.

Uncle Aaron, laying in the alley, purple armor bleeding darker and darker. Spider-Man, one blue eye staring up and out, chest caved in.

Peter B, sprawled unmoving across the ground.

Of course, it’s not the world that’s been put on pause. It’s Miles, standing frozen in place.

“ _ Miles _ ,” Gwen screams, and his spider-sense is sending up all kinds of alarms. Someone is on top of him, tackling him to the ground- it’s Rhino, Rhino who had gotten a hit to Peter’s chest, and then picked him up and  _ thrown him _ , and he’d ragdolled across the ground-

Miles pushes it down and tries to be Spider-Man.

He plants his hands on Rhino’s shoulders and pushes a Venom Strike. Rhino screams and thrashes, giving Miles enough room to plant his feet on Rhino’s chest and jump out of range.

Rhino tries to get up, but Gwen lands on his back with enough force that his chin makes a sharp noise when it connects with the ground.

Gwen and Miles work together to web him up while he’s disoriented, creating thick, overlapping layers as quickly as they can to combat his strength. When they finish, Rhino still seems woozy and hasn’t collected himself enough to begin struggling.

Gwen hops over his prone form and offers a tired fist out. Miles can tell she’s crookedly grinning beneath her mask.

“Peter,” he says, and her face drops as he turns to race towards where Peter had fallen.

Miles lands beside Peter and hauls him over so he’s on his back. Gwen drops next to him a half-second later and gets her fingers up under the edge of Peter’s mask to press against the side of his neck.

Miles stares at Peter’s chest.  _ It isn’t moving _ .

“He doesn’t have a pulse.” Gwen says, and though she’s using her superhero voice there’s the faintest thread of panic lacing through it.

Miles’ chest feels weird, like the Goblin has clamped a giant hand over it, squeezing tight and making it hard to breathe. He remembers kneeling on the floor of the gym with a limbless dummy, joking with his friends. Remembers the brightly-colored poster hanging off the side of the refrigerator at home. Remembers his mom quizzing him on the steps for fun.

“Okay,” says Gwen. “Okay, CPR. We have to do CPR.” Her hands are shaking even though her voice is steady.

“Call 911,” falls out of his mouth without his permission, the next step, except they can’t call 911.  _ Rule Thirty-two: no hospitals _ , he remembers Peter joking, trying to distract him from the neat stitches he’d been pulling through his own arm as Miles watched. His eyes had crinkled around the edges, partly in a smile and partly in pain. Peter’s startlingly easy to read without the mask; even though his gestures are all easily fluid and confident and he’s got a decent poker face his eyes always tell the truth. He’s the best of all of them at emoting through the mask, except now he’s on the ground and he’s not moving and his mask is utterly blank-

“Miles,” Gwen says, grabbing his shoulder over Peter’s body, dragging him back to the present. “It’s going to be okay,” She says, and even though he’s said the same lie to people he believes her.

Gwen plants her hands on Peter’s chest and leans forward. Miles’ Spider-Man’s blue eye is staring up and out. Uncle Aaron’s blood is dark against the purple of his suit.

“You- your hands’ve gotta be over. Heel of your hand to the sternum,” he recalls.

“Right. Right.” Gwen shifts her hands and then starts compressions, whispering a count under her breath. Miles’ chest is tight and he wishes he had something to  _ do _ . Wishes he could call 911, just so he could be useful, so that there would be help coming, that it wouldn’t be just him and Gwen dragging Peter back.

Miles reaches out and rolls Peter’s mask up over his nose, so it’ll be easier for him to breathe  once he starts to again . He doesn’t dare remove the mask, they’re too exposed.

Miles checks over his shoulder. Rhino has started to struggle weakly against the webs holding him to the asphalt, framed by the gaping hle he’d smashed through the abandoned building next to him.

Just a few feet to Miles’ left, the sun is beating down on the old pavement of this disused parking lot, but the building next to their little group of Spiders is throwing shade that makes Miles feel cold. (Miles had landed in the alley and laid Uncle Aaron on the ground, and the sun had been shining above him but the alley had been dark and cold-)

There aren’t any civilians showing up yet, but they’d corralled Rhino through more populated streets to get him away from people he could hurt, and it’s only a matter of time. Miles can hear sirens at the edges of his hearing.

“Come on, Peter,” Gwen says under her breath. “Come  _ on, please. _ ”

Miles turns back to her, and she’s panting with the effort of performing CPR immediately after a thirty-minute battle with Rhino.

“Let- Let me have a turn,” Miles offers.

“I’ve- got- it-” Gwen huffs stubbornly.

“ _ Gwen _ ,” Miles says in his superhero voice. “Take a break to catch your breath, I’ve got him.”

Gwen continues her steady compressions for a few more seconds, and then tips back onto her heels, gasping for air.

Miles places his hands in the right position and starts compressing. It takes him a moment to get the right amount of force and the rhythm going.  _ Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive _ echoes around in his brain, contrasting grotesquely with the scene.

Peter’s lips are starting to go bluish.

“Wake up, Peter,” Miles finds himself gasping. He’s already tired from fighting Rhino, and CPR is surprisingly exhausting, no matter how many times he’s been warned of its toll.

There’s an upsetting popping noise from Peter’s ribs that he can feel through his hands, and Miles  _ hates _ it. He remembers the sound of Spider-Man’s ribs shattering underneath Fisk’s fists, and he wants to be sick, but he doesn’t stop pumping, doesn’t let his rhythm slow,  _ Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive. _

Miles’ face is hot beneath the mask and his vision is growing blurry.

“Get up, Peter, get up,” Miles begs, pushing down and down and down. Even before he’d learned any of the rules of being Spider-Man, even before he’d  _ considered _ becoming Spider-Man, he’d learned the consequences of the most important rule of all: always get back up.  _ Yeah. I always get back up. Go. I’ll come and find you,  _ Spider-Man says in his memory, except he’s giving Miles the goober and telling him what to do, blue eye bright and searching, and he doesn’t try to get up, and Kingpin takes his mask and he looks scared and tired and his eyes are so blue but he doesn’t get up, and then Kingpin caves his chest in and his blue eyes are staring up but they don’t see anything.

Beneath his hands, Peter gasps to life.

Miles startles back in surprise. Gwen shoves forward and puts her fingers on his neck.

“He’s  _ alive _ ,” she chokes out. Peter’s chest keeps moving. Miles reaches out blindly and finds Gwen’s hand. She grabs it tight and they heave in breaths, the three of them together, alive.

Distantly, Miles notes that Gwen is trembling.

Peter’s hands twitch, and then one comes up to palm at his face, smacking in alarm over his exposed chin but relaxing once his fingers find the upper half secure.

“Wha-?” he tries to sit up, but Gwen lunges forward and firmly but gently pins his shoulder to the ground.

“Stay down,” she snaps.

“Gwen?” Peter asks. “ _ Rhino- _ ” Miles puts his free hand on Peter’s other shoulder when he tries to bolt up.

“We took care of him,” he says, voice wobbly.

Peter is slowly becoming more coherent. “What happened?” he groans. “Feel like I got hit by a truck.”

Gwen vents a short, dry chuckle, but Miles sniffles embarrassingly loud.

“Hey, hey,” Peter says, soft and comforting, reaching up for Miles’ hand. I’m okay. I’m alright.” The color is already coming back to the part of his face that Miles can see, and his grip is reassuringly strong. (Uncle Aaron’s hand had weakly gripped his, Miles holding it up so his Uncle could gather the strength to squeeze before it slipped away from the ground.)

Gwen stiffens before Miles can try to respond, glancing off to the side.

Miles follows her gaze and finds a small crowd of people gathering at the edge of the parking lot, beyond the half-smashed chain link fence. The sirens are getting louder too, maybe a block or two away now.

“We have to go,” Gwen says, letting go of Miles’ hand and coming up into a crouch. “Can you-”

“Yeah,” Peter grunts, slowly sitting up. Miles hovers by his side as he brings himself up to standing, leaning heavily on the wall of the building next to them. “I can move.”

Miles thinks it’s probably a really bad idea for him to be moving so soon after nearly dying, but they can’t stay here. (He can’t deny it makes him feel slightly better that Peter is trying.)

Peter pulls his mask down and the three of them take to the rooftops, Gwen leading them. They go much slower than usual, with Miles and Gwen sticking close, worried Peter will lose his grip or pass out mid-air. Over the sound of the wind, Miles can hear Peter making pained noises.

Gwen is glancing back every few seconds to check on him, and they end up landing on a building higher than the others around it with chest-height walls around the roof only a few blocks down from the finale of their battle against Rhino.

Peter stumbles alarmingly when he touches down, and Gwen and Miles are quick to make him sit down. “I’m  _ fine _ ,” he tries to insist, even as he curls a protecting arm over his chest and winces under the mask.

“You almost  _ died _ ,” Miles shoots back immediately without thinking about it, but then his hands are shaking alarmingly and Uncle Aaron’s hand is going slack in his own in the alley, and Spider-Man’s chest is all caved in under his blue eye, and Peter is thrown across the ground  _ not breathing- _

“Miles. Miles, c’mere-” Peter says, holding one arm up in a familiar invitation. Miles can’t quite breathe or move, but Peter manages to gently grab hold of his wrist and then Miles’ knees are folding up and he lets Peter draw him in. Miles presses himself up against Peter’s side, careful of his probably-broken ribs, and Peter’s arm drapes securely over him. Miles gasps in a shaky breath, and then another.

“That’s it, just breathe,” Peter murmurs.

“ _ I can’t watch Spider-Man die again _ ,” finally breaks out of the deep dark pit hiding in Miles’ chest, catching around a sob.

Miles feels Peter’s breath hitch. “Oh, Miles, I’m so sorry.”

Miles grabs at his mask and drags it off, balling it in his fist and pressing it against his stomach. Hot tears roll down his cheeks, and he stretches his hearing to listen to Peter’s heartbeat.

“Gwen?’ Peter asks, and MIles looks up through his tears to see her standing a little bit away from them, holding her elbows and staring intently at a point somewhere near their feet.

Peter peels his mask off and Miles’ breath catches- but Peter’s face is filled out and a little stubbly, his eyes are a warm brown color, and Miles can see the little worried wrinkle that’s appeared between his eyebrows. His hair is a complete disaster, sticking up in every direction.

Gwen doesn’t react.

“Gwen, hey, c’mere. You hurt?” Peter says softly in his Spider-Man voice.

Gwen shakes her head minutely after a long moment.

“Come over here, lemme see,” Peter says.

Gwen hesitates, and then takes three precise steps over, dropping abruptly into a crouch.

She’s still not looking at them.

“You wanna take off your mask?”

Gwen doesn’t react.

“Can I do it?” Gwen shrugs jerkily. Peter slowly reaches out and gently slides her mask off her head. She’s shaking violently, and her eyes are red rimmed. She abruptly sniffles, but still doesn’t look at them, gaze focused on the wall just past Miles’ shoulder.

“Gwen, look at me.” Peter says. Slowly her eyes come up, except when she finally makes eye contact with him, she bursts into tears. Peter draws her in and she tucks up against him in a mirror of Miles.

“You- you almost-” She sobs brokenly. “Just like-” she doesn’t finish, but abruptly Miles remembers that she lost her world’s Peter, too.

Miles reaches across Peter and takes one of her hands.

“I’m okay,” Peter says. “We’re all okay. Everybody’s alive.”

Miles and Gwen cry and cling to each other’s hands, and Peter keeps talking soothingly, and he keeps breathing, and his heart keeps beating.

Eventually the tears stop and they’re just breathing raggedly together on the roof, watching the sun slowly sink towards the horizon.

“That’s right, just keep breathing,” Peter says. He shifts a little bit and begins a deep breath, but it catches in his chest and he coughs. “ _ Ow _ ,” he groans, and Gwen pushes up.

“You need medical care,” she says firmly, eyes flicking over his face. Miles sits up as well and triest to glare at Peter to reinforce the message.

“Ugh, alright,” Peter says, and produces a phone from somewhere in his suit. “I have a nurse friend,” he explains, tapping at the phone and then pressing it to his ear.

Miles and Gwen scrub at their faces as he makes the short call.

Once he’s done, he hauls himself to his feet and sways a little, face going gray.

“Are you gonna make it there?” Gwen asks.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine,” Peter says. “I’ve had worse.”

Gwen glares at him again and he wilts a little. Gwen tugs her mask on and Miles and Peter follow suit, then they swing out over the city once again. Peter takes the lead this time, Gwen and Miles following close behind.

They have to stop for a breather twice, but Peter refuses all suggestions of finding a different mode of transport. “This is faster,” he insists stubbornly, launching himself back into the air.

Eventually Peter lands on a fire escape, Miles and Gwen perching on the railing close behind. He raps on the window and is quickly dragged inside by a woman who immediately begins to kindly berate him even as she efficiently gets him out of the top half of his suit and onto her couch.

“Hey, Claire,” he says, pulling his mask off and dropping it on a side table.

“At least you’re not bleeding this time,” she gripes as she pokes at the bruises blooming spectacularly over his ribs, and he grins up at her through the wincing.

Miles and Gwen quietly drift in after him. Seeing Peter ditch his mask, Miles pulls his off as well, but Gwen elects to keep hers on, drawing back under her hood.

Peter’s friend glances up at them as she’s pulling things out of an absolutely massive first aid kit. “Are either of you hurt?” Both of them shake their heads, and she  _ hmph’ _ s at them. “I  _ will _ be checking you over after I get done with this lug.”

“They’re good kids, they wouldn’t lie to you,” Peter says with a grin, and then curses at her when she does something with his ribs.

That shocks a giggle out of Gwen, and Miles feels a grin pulling at his lips.

“Careful there, Spider-Man doesn’t curse.” He teases.

Peter gives him a playful glare. “Spider-Man doesn’t curse, but Peter Parker does.”

“I’m Claire, by the way,” Peter’s friend says as she draws another pained curse out of Peter. Gwen and Miles introduce themselves.

“Where’d he pick up two tagalongs?” Claire asked. “I wasn’t aware there were multiple Spider… people.”

“We’re from different dimensions,” Miles says, smiling wide and innocent. Peter chokes on a laugh and Gwen snorts.

“...I don’t want to know,” Claire says

Gwen and Miles end up sitting on a loveseat on the other side of the living room, shins pressed together. Someone taps at the door and the three Spiders tense up in preparation. Miles palms his mask and gets ready to shove it on, but the door opens and reveals MJ holding a cardboard tray of drinks. She closes the door behind her and fondly observes the scene. Miles gives her a little wave.

“How many times is it this week, Peter?” she calls, and Peter relaxes back into the couch all at once.

“Oh, you know me, always gotta keep it interesting,” he says, and she laughs lightly as she comes around the couch.

MJ presses a kiss to Peter’s forehead and he smiles dopily up at her. She offers Gwen and Miles hot chocolates and informs Claire that she’s gotten her something with a long and complicated name that sounds extremely caffeinated.

“Do you see this, Parker? This is what you bring to my house, not cracked ribs,” she says.

“Did you bring me anything?” Peter asks with big eyes.

“You get water,” MJ replies fondly. Peter pouts.

Miles sips at his hot chocolate slowly, feeling warm and content, his spider-sense humming happily at the presence of the other Spiders. He tries to stay awake, but the last thing he knows is Gwen rescuing his hot chocolate from his hand just before he spills it when he falls asleep.

An indeterminable amount of time later, Gwen pokes him awake.

Peter has shimmied into civvies and looks a lot better now. Claire checks Miles over for injuries and then demands that Peter go home and rest without Spider-Manning for at least two days. Peter groans and whines about it, MJ promises to sit on him if he tries to escape, and then they’re all shuffled out the window.

“Thank you for the hot chocolates, Ms. Watson,” Miles says politely once their group has made it off the fire escape and into the alley.

“My pleasure,” she says, smiling, “and just call me MJ.”

Miles turns to Peter and carefully throws his arms around him. Peter makes an overexaggerated  _ oof _ noise, and after a moment Gwen nudges into the hug. Miles’ spider-sense tingles warmly as it brushes up against theirs. Peter’s heart is beating steadily and he’s breathing fine, if a little carefully.

“You’re never allowed to do that again,” Gwen mumbles after a moment, and Miles nods emphatically in agreement.

Peter squeezes them reassuringly. “I promise.”

They detangle themselves and get ready to go home.

“Stay safe,” Peter says, and then he takes MJ’s arm and they head off into the night.

“Do you want burgers? I kinda want burgers.” Peter’s voice drifts back towards Gwen and Miles.

“We are going  _ straight _ back home, I know what happens when you’re out on the street too long.” MJ says warmly.

“But I’m hungry!”

“I’ll order takeout. Here, look, see, I’ll call right now, it’ll be done by the time we get home. Oh no, mister, those puppy dog eyes aren’t going to work on me!” They turn another corner, laughing.

Gwen turns to Miles after he’s slid his mask over his head and holds out her fist, mask crinkling with her quiet smile. He taps his against it and grins back before he drops through a portal back to his dimension.

His spider-sense buzzes excitedly the way it always does when he comes back, sharpening like a radio being tuned and settling into place. Miles sits down against the side of a building and calls his dad. His dad tells him about a really cool mural he saw down by Central Park and promises to take him by tomorrow.

“I love you,” Miles says at the end of the call.

It’s Friday, so Miles swings home. He hugs his mom extra tight when he gets inside. They have dinner and chat about their weeks, then curl up on the couch to watch one of the cooking shows his mom likes.

When she gets up to go to bed later, she presses a kiss to his forehead. “ _ Te amo, mijo. Ir a dormir pronto, _ okay?”

“ _ Sí, mamá. Te amo _ .”

He lets the TV play while he dozes on the couch, waiting for his dad to get home. The door shuts some hours later, waking Miles, although he hadn’t realized he’d been asleep.

“Miles?” his dad says softly. “What are you still doing up?”

Miles yawns and sits up. “Just wanted to say goodnight,” he says, and gets up to hug his dad tight. “I love you,” Miles says into his dad’s chest.

His dad hugs him back, warm and solid. “I love you too, Miles.”

Miles stumbles sleepily off to his room and falls asleep to the sounds of the city outside his window and his dad getting ready for bed.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked that!!!!!! have a wonderful day :)


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